Is it necessary for both parties to endure suffering while terminating an employee?
The recent events involving two of my friends prompted me to pen this piece. Both were terminated. Both were due to the sudden closure of the start-up facility where she was working, and one was for alleged poor performance (despite the fact that she had never been counselled and was really on sick leave at the time). They were both senior managers. They were both dedicated workers who are now furious with their bosses and planning to sue. What gives them the willies? One may argue that it's due to their job loss, which would be a reasonable explanation. But the fact that they were notified of their dismissals by email is what really set them off and sent them down the legal road (in both instances). By email, I understand. The politeness of a face-to-face meeting was never extended to them.
The emotional toll that firing an employee can take is often overlooked or ignored by managers who must deal with this difficult situation. Furthermore, they are oblivious to the fact that certain feelings typically lead to certain actions. It is well-established that the emotional tolls of losing a loved one, ending a long-term relationship, and losing one's work are comparable. For a second, try to put yourself in the shoes of someone you cared about who passed away; how did you feel? That's the exact same emotion that others go through when their employment are abruptly and unexpectedly cut.
The five steps that psychologists call the "grief cycle" are as follows: shock, resistance (which can take the form of anger), acceptance (of the present), exploration (of potential new chances), and commitment (to a future without the loss). Is it possible to control any of these feelings using email?
When I was a manager for the first time, I clearly remember having to fire an employee. I was terrified since it was for bad performance. The night before, I couldn't sleep because I was so worried about her reaction to my words. I interviewed first thing in the morning despite my severe anxiety. I had no idea how the interview went, so I was relieved when it ended. I then tried to eat lunch during my break, but I was too sick. To be honest, I had no idea what the "5 stages" were; all I knew was that I had to do what was right by the company and the worker. A package of chocolates and a heartfelt note from an employee expressing her gratitude for my politeness and generosity awaited me when I returned from my break. My gut tells me that I must have been correct.
Two things have been clear to me over my years of experience with terminating an employee:
1. First and foremost, one must always take care of their self-esteem. This is a fundamental human need; communicating with someone by email—or, even worse, texting—sends the message that you do not value them enough to meet in person.
2. Secondly, it is crucial to understand that everyone experiences grief at their own pace. As a manager, it is our duty to support these individuals as they go through the five stages of grief, especially the first two stages that are likely to happen while we are still physically present.
Tell me the process. I conducted my web research, as is customary for articles like this one. To be honest, I was disappointed to see so little. A great number of articles regarding the procedures and legal requirements for "firing someone" were located under that heading. As an illustration, the following procedures were proposed in one article: Warn the public, document everything, document everything! At the correct time, Have the necessary documentation ready, Bring an HR representative along; you can't do it alone. Protect personal information, including Keep it short, Be mindful of the tone you use, Get some opinions, Offer a fitting farewell. When it comes to the five phases of mourning, very few of these would apply. You could probably have the same effect and outcome by sending an email for most of them. What "feedback" would the manager get if these procedures were followed? Would there really be a "Good send-off"?
Please understand that I am not implying that we can ignore some of these. For instance, in accordance with the standards of your nation and organisation, you are obligated to fulfil all documentary and legal obligations. The sacked employee is still a human being, with feelings and emotions of their own, and it's important to remember that.
For the next time you're in a position where you must terminate an employee, here are some recommendations (presuming, of course, that you have met all the other conditions):
Ask yourself, "How would I feel if my boss came to me today and said - you're fired!" before do anything. Compile a list of adjectives that best capture how you're feeling.
How would you prefer your manager to intervene if you were to be fired? In your opinion, what should they say and do? Make note of a few ideas.
• Now make a list of all the words that come to mind when you think about how you feel about firing someone. Go over your list of handwritten words and choose the two or three most powerful ones. Think about how you would prefer to be treated in a similar situation as well.
• Using the two or three new terms you've learnt, write out the first few words of the conversation. "This is really challenging for me," for instance. I am anxious and concerned that I may make a mistake.
What comes next in your opening script is situational. I have been informed that I must terminate the employment of several individuals. This is an example of a "lay off" situation. The news that your name appears on the list breaks my heart. It may also read, "We have discussed my expectations about your performance and unfortunately they are still not being met. "—in the case of a non-performance issue. The fact that I must now fire you hurts me (or makes you feel whatever it is that you feel).
• Use caution. The first few phrases of an interview are all you have time to script, but they should be powerful since they establish the tone for the whole thing.
• The employee's emotional state will likely oscillate between "shock" and "resistance" throughout the rest of the interview. Make your case for termination concise and unambiguous; nevertheless, refrain from debating the merits of your (or your employer's) reasoning. As a result, the worker will remain stuck in either the first or second phase without any chance of advancement. The employee can only reach the acceptance stage if you listen to them with honesty and ask them direct questions without offering reasoning.
When deciding to fire someone, it's easy to forget that the manner in which it's done can have just as big of an effect, for better or worse, on the remaining employees. How effectively or poorly the process was handled will be something they observe (and will inevitably hear from a coworker). Under pressure, managers and organisations reveal their true people management abilities to the remaining employees, whom you likely want to retain. Surely they will wonder, "Could something similar happen to me?"
